What a difference a year makes. It was nearly a year ago that I sat in a rocking chair nursing my five-month-old son on a family vacation to one of our favorite places…..Disney World! Logan and I were enjoying a nice bonding break from the crowds while Daddy rode some rides with our other two children, Addison and Dylan. Life was great! Our party of five was fulfilled.
Little did I know that just two days later, our lives would change forever. On March 1, 2017, our family experienced a tragic accident. Logan was airlifted to the Arnold Palmer Hospital for Children as the four of us rushed there still not sure of what was happening. We were in shock. This is the type of tragedy you hear about, but it doesn’t happen to you, right? Addison kept us in check during the longest car ride of our lives by reminding us that God would take care of Logan and us. She was right and the perfect reminder that we needed at that time. We arrived at the hospital and it wasn’t but a few hours later that we were holding Logan in our arms for the very last time.
A few weeks later, I was sitting at softball practice for my daughter when I received a text asking if a friend could put Logan’s name on her t-shirt for a race she was participating in. Of course the answer was yes! I wanted that sweet name spread all over so that he could always be remembered. I asked about the race and ended up on the Anna’s Grace website. Logan had passed just a few weeks earlier, and I am by no means a runner, but for some reason, participating in the race just felt like the right thing to do…so we did it! Never did I think that I could or even want to complete a quarter marathon. I have never raced that far of a distance, but carrying Logan’s bodysuit and seeing signs with his name gave me the strength I needed to finish. I was thankful for family and friends who showed their continued love and support that day and always. That day we celebrated Logan and many other sweet babies thanks to Anna’s Grace.
It was at the race that I met some incredible people who understood some of what I was feeling. While all of our journeys may not have been the same, we still find ourselves with the same heartache, questions, and disbelief. Hearing Logan’s name called during the remembrance ceremony was bittersweet to say the least, but doing anything I can to have his name recognized will be the focus of my journey here on Earth. Feeling the support of Anna’s Grace and all the other families who felt exactly what we felt in that moment is what we needed and continue to look for a year later and surely for many years to come.
Our trips to Disney World will forever have a bittersweet feeling. It’s the last place we held our baby, and the feeling we have when visiting is indescribable, but when there, I am reminded that our family is blessed to have known Logan for the time we had. All the families associated with Anna’s Grace are grateful for the minutes, hours, days or months they are able to spend with their babies. It is that connection that will forever link us with this amazing organization and the families it supports.
Larry and I have been very fortunate to have three healthy pregnancies. So while we may have taken different routes to get to this point, we are all part of the 1 in 4. We are part of the 1 in 4 that do not have the opportunity to rock our babies to sleep. We are part of the 1 in 4 that won’t get to tuck our babies in bed at night. We are part of the 1 in 4 that will always feel this gut-wrenching pain knowing something you want so badly will not come true. It is that forever bond that makes me grateful for a supportive group like the families we have found associated with Anna’s Grace. I am honored to have the privilege to have met some very strong families in our area who are dealing with the same hurt that we are.
Logan was always happy, smiling and laughing. He could bring immediate joy to anyone who saw him. In his short
time here on Earth, Logan gave us so much joy. As we approach the one-year anniversary of Logan’s passing, it is our mission to continue speaking of Logan so that he will forever be remembered. It’s through the virtual memorial garden provided by Anna’s Grace that we are able to see Logan’s name every day and know that he is “Safe in His Arms, but Forever in Our Hearts.” This is our comfort until we are able to meet again.
About Anna’s Grace Foundation Anna’s Grace Foundation is a registered 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization supporting families in the Greater Baton Rouge Area who experience miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss. Each and every day one of our neighbors, friends, coworkers, or family members will experience the devastating loss of a baby, and Anna’s Grace is there to provide emotional and financial support so that families can focus on healing. The Anna’s Grace Quarter Marathon is on March 25, 2018. For more information or to register, visit http://www.annasgrace.org/registration.