The 1 in 4: Aiden
I’ve told Aiden’s story hundreds of times over the past 10 years, usually on the first and third Wednesdays of the month at the Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support Group hosted by Woman’s Hospital. However, aside from writing a letter to him in his journal apologizing for the misfortunate events, I have never actually written his story down until now.
Shortly after our loss, while driving past the hospital where he died, the song “Broken” by Lifehouse came on and the lyrics really stood out to me:
I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating...
I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will, will be OK
My heart was broken but the world expected me to carry on as usual, and I was so desperate to get to the part in my life where I would be okay again.
When I was 13 weeks into my first pregnancy, my husband, Adam, and I went in for a routine ultrasound. Afterwards, I got a call from my doctor saying, “Don’t worry, the baby is fine. You have a dermoid cyst on your ovary.” She told me these cysts were very common, but because mine was about the size of a baby’s head, we needed to decide whether to remove it right away or wait until after the baby was born. We were referred to Maternal Fetal Medicine for a second opinion, and it was decided that because of the size and location of the cyst, it could twist or rupture as the baby grew more active, creating an emergency situation before viability. Sixteen